Ah, February. It’s the month of love and lavish. With our thoughts turned towards the l-word it’s a perfect time to talk about this strengthening value and the way it should play into every minute of our lives! Increasingly, and as it should, our focus has spread to be on more than just that significant other even during this holiday that we often identify with amore.

Overview

Sometimes you hear a quote and it engraves itself right into your heart. Ironically, that seems to be exactly how many people felt when Carl W. Buechner said,

“They may forget what you said, but they will never forget how you made them feel.�

Every day humans are interacting with one another. All ages and pages of life are filled with laughs and eyebrow raises and frowns all in response to the social happenings around us. And, wow, if relationship building isn’t one of the most fascinating and challenging obstacles to face. Often, when we hear think of love our thoughts go to those hours before 8 and after 5, to the people we live with or grab brunch with on Sundays. But even at work, love plays into our every move.

Love is the mortar that holds the foundations of our careers soundly in place.

Relationships with Authority

“Personal relationships are the fertile soil from which all advancement, all success, all achievement in real life grows.”

Ben Stein

Authority is a word that sparks a strong reaction in many minds. We know that building and maintaining a good relationship with our managers and bosses is invaluable, but we may find ourselves dreading that task. Part of this could just be the stigma that has been perpetrated to make us feel like our boss wants us to produce without any care towards our needs. Thankfully, this isn’t the case in most workplaces. The truth is workplaces are more efficient when employees are happy. Still, it can be easy to make our expectations a reality in any case. Consider that your superiors at work are human too, they want relationships that build them up and don’t add to the stress already in place in a workplace. Earlier in the series, we considered the effect of honesty. Remember that now. Be honest with your expectations, your boss and yourself.

Now, if you find that your relationship isn’t quite what you hope it could be or like you started off on the wrong foot with your higher up, don’t fret! There are many ways to make improvements that will refresh that standstill. First, start by thinking about your communication. Direct, clear communication is an excellent gateway to improvement. Consider asking to have a short, Use this time to discuss daunting deadlines, goals on both sides and don’t forget to inquire about how they are. If they are open to this arrangement, you are well on your way to building a happier, healthier connection.

Relationships with Co-workers

“Teamwork is the ability to work together toward a common vision. The ability to direct individual accomplishments toward organizational objectives. It is the fuel that allows common people to attain uncommon results.�

Andrew Carnegie

We spend around on average. That’s about thirty percent of our time on this earth. So, while we’re by the water cooler we should seriously consider the communication that we are fostering and the relationships we are developing from there. When Gallup did a , whether or not you have a “work best friend” is one of the twelve questions they presented each employee with. Maybe you feel like “best friend” is too strong a term but even so, having a connection with the people you are striving to achieve success with is necessary. Though we don’t get to choose who we work with, we do have a handle on how we treat them. Simply be good to people and you’ll find that it comes pouring back to you.

If you’re hoping to improve that interpersonal day to day with the people around you, but you aren’t sure where to start, give questions a try. Questions? Yes, ask and you shall receive. Show genuine interest in your peers and try to remember the facts that have been shared with you. The names of their children, their favorite football team. These little tidbits possess the power to elevate a relationship by displaying interest in the little things. Think about your friends at work now. See if you can recall what sparked that initial friendship. Doubtless, it was a conversation in which you discovered a shared goal or mindset. Humans are pretty fond of themselves, so if they feel like they can relate to you they are likely to stay with you in the daily trenches.

Relationships with Clients

“I believe that you can get everything in life you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want.”

Zig Ziglar

When your job allows you the privilege of working directly with clients an extra level of relationship responsibility slides into your department. Clients are, easily, the lifeblood of the beauty and barbering industry. As salon and shop professionals, cosmetologists, barbers, estheticians, and manicurists make it their work to help people love the way they look. What an awesome job description! But, it is not without its challenges. Product sales account for a healthy portion of income and having a solid conversation can be the difference between a re-book and a regret! You can have all the technical skills for beautiful braids or a fantastic fade and still struggle with bringing in business. Part of that is because, for better or for worse, people have pretty complicated relationships with the professionals providing them with the services they want.

So, how do you navigate this complicated minefield? Keep in mind that you are the expert on your field between the two of you. It’s vital to listen to the wants of the customer while still making sure your work is high quality. Holding effective consultations while you begin a process will never lead you astray. Listen to your heart when it comes to client conversations. Just caring about people only aids any given situation. Make a genuine effort to never be fake and you’ll make it. Finally, when it comes to product sales – do not hesitate. Many times guests do not know how to preserve the effect of the service they’ve just received. A facial is restorative, but without a consistent at home routine (like this Bioelements skincare I tried out) it is impossible to keep your face glowing the in that fresh-out-of-the-spa way! Be informed of your products and confident in your knowledge. That passion will bleed out into your clients as they become their best-feeling selves.

Conclusion

“Our rewards in life will always be in exact proportion to the amount of consideration we show toward others.”

Earl Nightingale

What we talk about when we talk about love is connection. Building positive relationships with authority, peers, and clients will make every day go more smoothly. When we can communicate our goals and be open about our reality with those around us, we are at our strongest. Most of all, when we pour out love into the world around us it comes flowing back to us in various forms. Good feelings, success, and smiles will fill into the corners of your life like sunshine that can be FELT. So this year, take love right out of February and put it into every month of the year.

The post What’s Felt : Connecting with Love appeared first on 51³Ô¹Ï.

The holiday season is settling in all around us. Party preparations are underway and invites are in the mail (or on a Facebook event page if, like me, you can’t remember the last time you bought stamps.) This is the time of the year when we gather loved ones close, celebrate relationships, and connect to that deeper sense of gratitude too easily ignored during our day-to-day routines.

With the approaching festivities drawing closer, I want to talk about host/ess gifts and why I see room for adding this practice to your holiday tradition repertoire.

My Assumption

Before writing this blog, I sincerely assumed that most people were sitting next to me on the hostess gift bandwagon. I rarely go to a party with empty hands and NEVER if it is the first time at a new friend’s house.  That is why, when brainstorming blog ideas, I just knew you lovely readers were itching to up your gifting game.

The Reality

You can imagine my surprise when my research revealed that I am in the minority when it comes to host or hostess gifts. Almost everyone I spoke to said they’ve never given or received a hostess gift. What?! In fact, the more people I spoke to, the more my assumption was tested.  I mean, really. Are we not proper, midwestern folk? I sat with my new-found knowledge for a few days, stewed over the implications, and then came to a simple conclusion. Maybe I fell into that too-human pitfall where an individual expects personal experiences to be shared experiences? Hmm. Funny how life keeps teaching us even when we are not looking to learn.

Okay, so lesson learned. Assumptions are often misinformed and hard to spot. But, I haven’t given up on the idea that a host or hostess gift can be an amazing addition to your holiday spirit. Keep reading as I make my case, explain a few gifting faux pas, and then- spoiler alert- share a few relatable reasons to forgo this tradition.

A Case for the Hostess Gift

Okay, so now that I have a new perspective, allow me a moment to make a case for giving a host or hostess gift.

1. Hosting a party is a lot of work!

   As a fervent party-thrower, I sincerely enjoy giving my friends and family a space to make great memories. With that said, it takes a ton of preparation and cleanup. I don’t do it for gifts, but they are always appreciated while picking up the party remnants the next day.

2. Gift giving and receiving is fun!

   I am an eager gift giver. It is my “love language” for those of you familiar with . So, of course, I enjoy shopping for that perfect something.
   * If gifting isn’t your love language, your “gift” can take another form. One of the best hostess gifts given to me was a pan of frozen, homemade cinnamon rolls intended to be an easy breakfast for the next day. Though still a tangible object, the gift fell into the acts of service category and meant the world to me.

3. A gift opened the next day is a great way to ensure you leave a lasting positive impression.

   Okay, so here is where I fashion a plea to the pragmatists and introverts in the room. I know that we all want to put our best foot forward, but sometimes we stumble. Social situations are tricky and the general awakening of our social conscience means that we are expected (and rightfully so) to be aware of what shouldn’t be said or done. If you do slip up and commit a faux pas, a nice gift opened the next day will ensure you end on a high note. Think of it as social insurance.

5 easy rules.

Not that I’ve made my case, here are a few ways to give great hostess gifts.

1. Keep it small

   Your friend is trying to treat you and their time and effort is the gift that should shine the brightest.

2. Keep it hassle free

   Hosting is the art of anticipating needs. This skill requires the host or hostess to keep their minds tuned-in to each and every guest. Anything that distracts or demands attention, such as flowers or perishable foods, should be avoided.

3. Keep it quiet

   Your host can sense the mood of the room. If other guests feel uncomfortable that they didn’t bring a gift, your friend is going to feel that atmosphere change. This will mean more work for the host and takes away from the spirit of giving. Avoid making a big deal that you brought a gift and don’t ask your host to open it immediately. When giving a hostess gift, I usually say “and here is something small to show our thanks for you to look at tomorrow.”

4. Keep it private

   If you are just so excited that you can’t wait to see your host open the gift, wait until the end of the party or during a calm moment so your hostess can sneak away without feeling guilty. I can tell you from experience, the first 20 minutes or so of a party is the busiest and the most vulnerable time for any host or hostess. Wait for the right time and then give your gift in private.

5. Keep it interesting

   The goal is to show that you appreciate the invite and that you would appreciate future invites. To make sure your private, hassle-free, quiet gift is also remembered, give your host or hostess something unique. Keep this basic rule in mind: interesting gift = increased dopamine = rememberable.
   *Dopamine is a chemical our brain uses to reward us for specific behaviors and motivate us to do those same behaviors again.  If you want to learn how to expertly take advantage of dopamine’s benefits in social settings, I suggest you check out Vanessa Van Edward’s book, . It changed my life!  And if you don’t have time to read the book right now because the holidays are so busy, that compresses the information in a few Q and A’s.

Coming full circle

Okay, so I am obviously a promoter of the host/ess gift idea. However, I did hear a few strong arguments against the tradition. What kind of content creator would I be if I cherry-picked my data solely to support my argument? So here is are a list of reasons to avoid host/ess gifts.

1. If it isn’t broke, don’t fix it

   If you and your friends already have amazing traditions, you might not need to add anything to the experience. In fact, do you really want an extra thing to remember? It takes time to get into a new habit and maybe you don’t want to spend the mental energy (and money) remembering all these rules. If you feel this way, I suggest that you keep the formal hostess gift-giving saved for office parties and other events where you want to make an extra special impression.

2. Some people feel uncomfortable receiving gifts

   While the notion seems strange to me, many people dislike receiving gifts. And what kind of giver would I be if I only thought of how gift-giving makes me feel? Keep your mission in mind. You want to make your friend feel amazing and show your appreciation for their time and efforts. If something as simple as a sincere thank you will do, stick with verbal gratitude.

3. The Friend Debt

   One of the best arguments against giving a hostess gift is this: nobody wins in a Friend Debt war. If you or your friend view the gift as a debt, just stop now. Know yourself. When you receive a gift, do you feel the need to “pay it back?” If the answer is yes, I suggest avoiding this particular tradition. It takes away from the spirit of grace and gives room for obligation to sneak into your friendship. I know many wonderful people who view relationships on a carefully calibrated scale. When one side tips the balance, they want the other side to move towards equilibrium quickly. For my equity-centric friends, debts are serious and it is better to avoid the debt war altogether.

What do you think? Are you pro hostess gift or is this a hard pass? If you are on this bandwagon with me, what is the best gift you’ve given or received? If you think this is an unnecessary step,  how do you show your party-invite appreciations?

The post 5 Easy Rules for Giving Great Hostess Gifts (And a Case for Reviving This Fading Tradition) appeared first on 51³Ô¹Ï.